Frederick W. VonAmberg

Hi everyone, if you got to this page via one of the Webrings, please make sure to visit my page from the beginning:
http://www.classic-computer.net/fred

These are the Web Rings that I am a member.
My Ring is on top.
If you would like to join click here .

Make sure to check out our favorite comic strip "Buckles"

Here are a few of our favorite cartoons and dog sayings that we think are quite neat:

How to Prepare for a New Puppy

Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and
walk around barefoot in the dark.

Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.

Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying,
"Be a good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on, lets go!"

Cover all your best suits with dog hair.
Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair.
Also float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

Play "catch" with a wet tennis ball.

Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.

Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

Leave your underwear on the living room floor,
because that's where the dog will drag it anyway.
(Especially when you have company.)

Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program
and run to the door shouting,
"No no! Do that OUTSIDE!" and...
miss the end of the program.

Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning,
and don't try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.

Gouge the leg of the dinning room table several times with a screwdriver,
it's going to get chewed on anyway.

Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself.
This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep
on your lap.

All in the Family

38
percent of dog owners accidentally call their spouse by their dog's name.
Of this group...

25
percent accidentally call their dog by their spouse's name.

51
percent of dog owners let their dogs lick their face, but...

63
percent of dog owners kiss their dogs.

40
percent of dog owners carry photos of their dogs in their wallets.
Of this group...

2
percent carry their mother-in-law's photo

Dog Fancy Magazine - October 2000
(Source: What Do Dogs Know by Stanley Coren (The Free Press, 1997)

Ode To A Puppy

Now I lay me down to sleep
The king size bed is soft and deep
I sleep right in the center groove
My human being can hardly move
I've trapped his legs, he's tucked in tight
And here is where I pass the night
No one disturbs me, or dares intrude
Till morning comes and " I want food "
I speak up slowly to begin
And nibble on my human's chin
He wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth
I'm a puppy, don't you see?
For the morning's here and it's time to play
I always seem to get my way
So thank you God for giving me
This human person that I see
The one who hugs and holds me tight
And shares his bed with me at night.

A dog thinks:
Hey, those people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm,
dry house, pet me, and take good care of me.....
They must be gods!

A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me.....
I must be a god!

Do you know where your dog has been ?

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Last updated: Tuesday, December 17, 2002

	How to Prepare for a New Puppy
	Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.
	Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.
	Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying, "Be a good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on, lets go!"
	Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.
	Play "catch" with a wet tennis ball.
	Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.
	Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.
	Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because that's where the dog will drag it anyway. (Especially when you have company.)
	Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting, "No no! Do that OUTSIDE!" and... miss the end of the program.
	Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning, and don't try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.
	Gouge the leg of the dinning room table several times with a screwdriver, it's going to get chewed on anyway.
	Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.

	All in the Family
	38	percent of dog owners accidentally call their spouse by their dog's name. Of this group...
	25	percent accidentally call their dog by their spouse's name.
	51	percent of dog owners let their dogs lick their face, but...
	63	percent of dog owners kiss their dogs.
	40	percent of dog owners carry photos of their dogs in their wallets. Of this group...
	2	percent carry their mother-in-law's photo
		Dog Fancy Magazine - October 2000 (Source: What Do Dogs Know by Stanley Coren (The Free Press, 1997)

	Ode To A Puppy
	Now I lay me down to sleep The king size bed is soft and deep I sleep right in the center groove My human being can hardly move I've trapped his legs, he's tucked in tight And here is where I pass the night No one disturbs me, or dares intrude Till morning comes and " I want food " I speak up slowly to begin And nibble on my human's chin He wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth I'm a puppy, don't you see? For the morning's here and it's time to play I always seem to get my way So thank you God for giving me This human person that I see The one who hugs and holds me tight And shares his bed with me at night.